Slowing Down, Leaning In, and Living in the Moment
It's rare that I get a week to slow down. I think slowing down the pace of our lives is something many of us want to do, but with obligations and commitments to work, church, family, and community, it's easier said than done. As difficult and scary as this current pandemic is, I also think that many of us have realized the benefits of having less to do. Working from home, cancelled events, and restricted travel does have some pros. The main benefit that I've been trying to lean into these past few months has been to get past my standard, everyday thought patterns.
I tend to mull over the same things every day, and rather than dig deeper for solutions or simply sitting with my thoughts, I often find myself moving onto the next thing. Oftentimes, this is out of necessity: there are emails that must be answered, dishes that must be put away, phone calls that need to be made, even blog posts that (according to my own goals for myself) need to be written. But having less social gatherings, cancelled races, the option for online church, and even very little sporting events in which to be invested has allowed me more time to reflect and evaluate. It's afforded me more time to do puzzles, to work on writing projects, and to exercise.
These are all pluses. One interesting thing about this life adjustment during quarantine, however, is just how quickly I get used to this new status quo. Now that we are about half a year into this new normal, I am finding that I may need to re-calibrate once again.
My need to take stock of how I spend my time, my daily habits, and the patterns that emerge in my life are something that need to be periodically evaluated, as much as I'd like to find the perfect balance and just stay there.
This week I have a "free" week. It's one of those rare in-between weeks in life when you have left one job and are waiting to start a new one. When you're used to working a standard 9am-5pm workday and suddenly find yourself with a whole week stretching before you full of promise and potential, it's both exciting and daunting.
My Enneagram 3 subtype and wing really come out in these situations. I want to set all the goals and achieve all the things, and then my Enneagram 4 comes out wanting to make those achievements my most creative and most unique. At that point 3 generally jumps in again wanting to speed up the process, and on it goes, leaving me mentally anything but relaxed and reflective.
This has been a struggle for me for much of my life, and while it has aided me in achieving things, it has made it difficult for me to live in the moment. But during this in-between week, that is my goal, my mantra. It's profoundly simple, yet incredibly challenging.
I love this paraphrase of the well-known Bible verse about this very thing: "Give your entire attention to what God is doing now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes" (Matt. 6:34).
One thing that does help me to embrace each moment rather than thinking immediately of the next, is to recognize beauty around me. The hibiscus, zinnias, and marigolds blooming in our backyard, the feel of a clean kitchen after hubby and I spent a Saturday morning scrubbing and organizing, the way the aesthetic of our living space has come together in muted grays, blues, and subtle pinks, or catching hubby's honey-hazel eyes smiling remind me that this moment right now is good, and that that doesn't detract from what may happen or what I want to accomplish in the next moment, hour, day, or week.
There are times in my life that I still think about with regret when I know I have prioritized my goals above helping someone else with their immediate needs. It's painful to reflect on this, but I want to lean into it so that I am more aware of it, and hopefully, by God's grace, so that I can change that pattern in a way that also preserves my motivation to pursue goals, big and small.
So here's to a week of reflection, of connection, of hopefully accomplishing things, but hopefully even more of abundant grace if I fall short of my own goals.
And while I don't want to crowd this week with one thing to do after another, I would love any suggestions for worthwhile things to explore in RVA and the surrounding area. Hubby and I already have a trip planned to see some friends and to enjoy a performance of a Shakespeare play outdoors. I am also planning on exploring Virginia's Northern Neck and its smattering of quaint towns which I have never visited, but any and all recommendations are appreciated, from new coffee shops to museums to parks.
Hope everyone has a great week!
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